A Legacy of Abuse: The Burden of Badness
Survivors of abuse - whether the abuse be physical, sexual or emotional – often have a very deep and profound sense of badness and harbor associated beliefs relating to unlovability and a lack of self worth. The essential badness stems primarily from an irrational identification with deserving the abuse - internalizing badness that would otherwise be more appropriately bestowed upon the abuser, which – in the case of a parent or caregiver – would have devastating consequences to one’s perception of safety and prospects for survival.
Running on empty?
Are you running on empty but telling yourself you have no time to fill up?
THIS is madness. . .and I don’t use the term, “madness,” accidentally or carelessly.
Do you ever get caught up in a cycle of work, work, work, do, do, do and you feel like the pile of work to do -- things to be done -- only gets bigger while you are slipping further and further behind?
When I feel better. . .
As a therapist, one of the most common sentences I hear from from individuals struggling with depression begins with, "When I am no longer depressed, I will ---"
If you are struggling with depression, the words at the end of that sentence should be at the beginning of your "To Do" list. The best thing you can do if you are depressed is to connect with people and engage in rewarding and meaningful experiences.
Do I need counseling?
I often get calls from prospective clients asking, “Do I need counseling?” And, “How do I know?”
Often, I start by asking them how they’ve been feeling, and if they like the way they’ve been feeling. That may relate to a whole range of descriptors: sad, depressed, down, blah, angry, frustrated, bored. . .
Jerks in Your Orbit?
I was having a conversation with a dear friend of mine the other day about “jerks.” Clients, friends, and family members often come to me complaining about “jerks” in their orbit who are behaving intolerably -- intolerably uncompassionate, intolerably egotistical, intolerably self-centered, rude, angry, and so forth. . .