Week #4: Choosing Presence
This week’s exercises target our habit of compulsive thinking. Eckhart Tolle says we are so accustomed to the constant, incessant hum of our thoughts -- what Williams and Penman (2011) call the “thought stream” -- that we don’t even notice it until we are free of it. He likens this to the relief we experience when an air conditioner is turned off and a peaceful silence fills the sound gap.
My thought stream often becomes trapped in an eddy that I call the "to do list death spiral." (Because I think this is a common problem, I recommend that before you begin your first meditation practice of the day, you take a moment to write down your daily "to-do list." This way you “clear the minefield” of potential distractions.) The thought stream is a running soundtrack of commentary, judgments, criticisms, comparisons, daydreams, and predictions. Williams and Penman (2011) call this the “propaganda stream.” This is another sort of death spiral that plays out in three stages: there is the situation, our interpretation of the event (that is determined by all of our past experiences, what we think and feel about our self, and our cultural orientation), and our reaction to the event – our emotions and corresponding physiological manifestations and our impulses to react in certain ways.
The three-stage process plays out in a loop with one negative thought-reaction resulting in another negative thought that spawns another negative thought, and so on. According to Tolle (2004), most of us are “compulsive thinkers.” He says that “thinking has become a disease.” I think he’s right. To not be able to stop thinking, in Tolle’s words, is “a dreadful affliction” (p. 14). I’ve experienced this, and I agree.
Mind control, a test:
Don’t think this is you? Think that you control your mind and not the other way around? Let’s test that. Go to your alarm settings on your phone and choose the “stopwatch” mode. Take a deep inhale. On the exhale, start the stopwatch and see how long you can go before a thought enters your mind. Go ahead. . .I’ll wait. . .
How did you do? Did you make it 20 seconds? 15? 10? Only 5?
Tolle (2004) believes that “many people live with a tormentor in their heads who continuously attacks and punishes them and drains them of vital energy” (p. 18). Williams & Penman (2011) liken the mind’s running commentary of the world to a rumor mill. “Once the mind’s propaganda stream has begun, it becomes more and more difficult to argue against it. It becomes difficult to separate fact from fiction. Future events will be interpreted by those facts accepted before it. Competing information is ignored and supporting facts wholeheartedly embraced” (Williams & Penman, 2011, pg. 138).
The good news is, we can break this cycle. We can learn to control the incessant mental noise that separates us from the stillness and peace that that lies beneath – and it is there. All we must do, says Tolle (2004), is start listening to that internal voice and as often as possible! Tolle (2004) calls this, “watching the thinker.” What does this look like? Reflect on that mind control experiment you just did moments ago. Maybe you managed to go a few seconds before a thought popped into your head, such as, “I forgot to buy milk,” or, “I should go for a run.” If you had decided to continue, you would probably have gone another few seconds before another intrusive thought broke through and this pattern would likely continue. This may not feel like progress, but it is. When you “watch the thinker,” you come to realize that there is a level of intelligence – a level of consciousness – beyond thought. “When you listen to a thought, you are aware not only of the thought, but also of yourself as the witness of the thought” (Tolle, 2004, p. 19).
Let’s be clear, the opposite of thinking mode is not trancelike. . .it is presence. Being fully receptive to what is happening in the Now. Think about those times when you are fully in the moment – engrossed and absorbed by something – a titillating tale, a profound performance, a beautiful sunset, a passionate kiss. Your joy and pleasure in those moments was not predicated on your thoughts. Quite the opposite: thinking would only contaminate the experience or distract from it. The fact that television and movies provide an escape from reality – freedom from the thoughts that are oppressing and depressing us – is precisely why we indulge so much in them. But living our lives should be our goal, not escaping from them. Abuse of drugs and alcohol is a more toxic form of avoidance, but any amount of avoidance is a sad waste of the short time we have.
Mind control: What does progress look like?
Those gaps of mind – those breaks from compulsive thinking – will be short in the beginning but will gradually become longer. Eventually, your default mode will become presence, not thinking. And thinking will become something that is deliberate and intentional. “Your mind is an instrument, a tool. . .there to be used for a specific task” (Tolle, 2004, p. 21). In the meantime, be patient. When you are practicing mindfulness, have self-compassion. Watch the thoughts, watch the thinker, but don’t judge or criticize. Just note the thought, let it pass, and bring yourself back to the moment. This is the training.
The following exercises are intended to break the “propaganda stream,” the “rumor mill” that is running rampant and unchecked in our minds:
Link to meditations:
http://bit.ly/rodalemindfulness
Do the eight-minute body and breath meditation (track #4) immediately followed by the eight-minute sounds and thoughts meditation. (track #5). Do this sequence twice each day.
Do the three-minute breathing space meditation (track #8) twice a day or as often as needed.
Habit Releaser: This week, Williams & Penman (2011) suggest you show up at the movies at a designated time without checking beforehand what’s playing – the idea being that if you make a spur of the moment decision based upon your impulse in that moment, you may opt for – and find yourself unexpectedly enjoying – a selection that is out of your norm. During our quarantine time, I would suggest a modification of this assignment. If you have access to a movies-on-demand service, plan your movie night to begin at a predetermined hour. Don’t investigate your options or even think about what you’d like to watch beforehand. “Show up” at movie time and give yourself about 10 minutes to peruse the options and make a choice based upon how you are feeling at that moment. Since you will have many more options in this format, try to opt for something a little outside of your normal fare! If you don’t have a movies-on-demand option, peruse the guide channel and choose among the limited options what strikes your fancy at that moment.
That’s it for this week! Until the next post, enjoy the Now!